A Kinder Gentler Grief

Monday Mourning, coffee in hand; a new day and a new week. Thank God!

Last week was a rough one. It began with a funeral.  My friend and family member, Carol was killed in an auto accident. Her son married my daughter.  There was great sorrow that day clothed in shock.  There was also the most amazing outpouring of love and comfort.  Hundreds of people, armed with flowers and cards and kind words covered the grieving family with love.  Grief was tempered by love.

Saturday I attended a baby shower for my first grandchild. My son and daughter-in-law both grew up in Michigan but have been living in Tennessee for several years.  I expected a few family members and friends to attend.  I was stunned at the over 40 women who came to shower my kids with love and care. 

I was especially emotional that day.  Grief came to the shower. I was reminded that my first grandchild will not ever know his grandpa.  It made me sad at what was supposed to be a celebration.  But then the other grandpa (Amy’s dad) helped to load all the goodies in the car to take back home to Tennessee and I realized that God had provided a really great grandpa for my first grandchild.  Grief was clothed in God’s provision.

One of the gifts opened that day contained a hand-made afghan and a set of cloth diapers with embroidered appliques and crocheted edges.  I recognized them immediately!  My mom made them for my babies and for all the babies in our family over the years.  She died when I was 35 – she was only 59.  But she was there Saturday, loving my kids and my grandchild through my cousin Valarie who, at my sister’s prompting, made mom’s burpers and afghan for the next generation of babies.  Grief was blanketed in warm memories and the love of family.

I cannot do anything to make the grief stop.  It comes in unexpected waves.  It makes its presence known at funerals and at celebrations;  at sad goodbyes and new births.  Once grief touches our lives it ripples and rumbles its way into every family event.  Like an uninvited guest it plops itself down at the table and refuses to be ignored.  Grief is relentless.

AND… God’s love sits down next to it and softens grief’s edges.  Love mingles tears of joy with the tears of sadness.  God runs to our rescue through loving people armed with unexpected acts of kindness.  I shudder to think the damage grief would do to our lives if God were not there to run to our rescue.

Perhaps that’s why He is called the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace, the Comforter.  He is all that and more.  Go God!  And another shout-out to God’s people.  I have been showered with kindness and love this week as God’s people have loved my kids at a funeral and at a celebration of new life.

In the good times and the bad, God is ever present, ever good, ever active in our lives through the loving expressions of His people.  May I be one of those agents of God’s love this week.

Karen